LESSONS FROM RAY RICE: MEN’S VOICES ARE NEEDED

“A DEAFENING AND DEADLY SILENCE”

I was flooded with relief as I read NFL commentator James Brown’s remarks addressing violence against women.  Most violence against women, including violence against those who identify as female, is perpetrated by men.  Yet intimate partner abuse is often described as a woman’s problem.

Historically in our culture, women’s voices have been discounted.   Without the active engagement of men in confronting abuse and other disrespectful behaviors toward women, the elimination of discrimination and abuse of women is unlikely to be achieved.

In his comments, Brown addressed the roots of violence against women in recognizing the systemic cultural problem of treating women disrespectfully.  Brown’s full remarks may be read and viewed here. 

Framing freedom from domestic violence as a basic human right is a good start.  That freedom cannot be accomplished through the efforts of women alone.  Over the past thirty years more options for woman have developed, providing safer options for those who wish to leave an abusive situation.  What has not changed is that at least one in four women in this country are being or have been abused by current or former intimate partners.   1500 women are killed each year by a current or former intimate partner.   

Each time abuse against women and girls is ignored or minimized, the problem is perpetuated.  Each time men fail to confront another man who disparages women, an opportunity is missed to change that behavior.  Women are not without obligations in stopping discrimination against women.  But the voices of men are more powerful, particularly when their words are addressed to other men. 

As Brown states “…wouldn’t it be productive if this collective outrage, as my colleagues have said, could be channeled to truly hear and address the long-suffering cries for help by so many women?”

“When a guy says, ‘You throw the ball like a girl,’ or, ‘You’re a little sissy,’ it reflects an attitude that devalues women and attitudes will eventually manifest in some fashion.”